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OhLaila |
Monday, 28 December 2009
When Life presented an option. Two things I know for sure now. One. Sooner or later the big decisions in Life have to be made, even if abruptly. Two. Your Life may change, for the better or for the worse, due to the decisions. I'm in front of another decisive moment of my life now, which to my surprise, arrived too sudden somehow. Few months, no, few weeks ago, I had my mind and mentality prepared to enter JC next year. At least that's where I was thinking of spending my two years of preparations to get ready to enter a Medicine Faculty in Australia someday. Although in the cases of enrolling in an Australian university after O Level I only need to enter a one-year Foundation Programme, I thought it may be better if I prepare my own science knowledges in JC first before I enrol in the Faculty. I've heard people who took Medicine in there without A Level certificate are struggling madly, in which most of them changed to other courses. And even though I'll be one year later to enrol in there, with A Level certificate in science I'll most probably can cope easier in the course. But few days ago, I heard from my Dad's friend, that her daughter could cope in Medicine Faculty without taking A-Level, and with Foundation Programme only. A rare case, but a proof that people can still cope without A-Level in that course. And he, advised me to just go straight to Aussie. My relatives have told me not to take up JC as well. Other than tiring, I'll waste one extra year. I've turned my deaf ears to their blabberings. I was resolute that I don't care even if I'll waste more time, if that can compensate the ease I'm gonna enjoy in my dream course. Now I know that maybe without wasting another year I can cope in there. The thing is, I'm not mentally prepared. My brain calculates that it's a better option to just enrol into the Foundation Programme. If I attain enough score, the faculty will guarantee a place for me. And since it's easier to get high score in the programme than in A-Level exam. However, With only O-level certificate in Biology and Chemistry, I may not cope with the science subjects I'm gonna take. Second scenario. If I take A-Level course in JC, My sciences knowlegde would be powerful enough in the faculty. I may even skip some of the subjects. Not to mention I'll be more fluent in my English as well. But, I'll waste one more year. And definitely much more money. Which is a pain in the ass. Which should I choose, I am still thinking about it. Friends said I should look at how I did my O-level first, and decide about it later. Still, I have to be mentally prepared if I'll ever decide to take up the Foundation Programme instead. My mentality is the problem. If I leave Singapore, that means a fresh new start. And I dunno if I'm prepared for it. Another thing I know for sure. This is going to be the moment I'll remember my whole life. The moment that is gonna change the course of my journey. Thursday, 17 December 2009
Hmm. Had another session of basketball today, again after 2 weeks of hiatus. And since it's already school holiday here, The court was super full of kids and teenagers too. == Which I dislike. I don't really know why. I don't feel so comfortable playing in the crowd. Except with people I know though. I'm unconfident of my basketball skill, maybe. Or maybe because of traumatic experiences I had in the past. My friends used to be fairly good basketball players, while I was really, really, really NOOB in my primary school days. Still, I often hung out with them and joined to play basketball. One day I was out with them around my neighbourhood after school. We decided to play basketball. And there were these few older teenagers, who seemed to know one of my friends. So we decided to play together. I was a bit uncertain playing with them at first, but since I knew I had a bit of stealing skills in basketball, hopefully I could manage to keep up. And there it went. Being smallest guy in the court, and the most nerdy-looking one, I ended up being the so-called 'shit' and got bullied by the opponents. Badly. My friends? Some didn't help, some even bullied me with the older guys. What a group of friends I had. That's why I didn't really like my primary school days. I got into a lot of trouble, and most of the friends suck to the core. Well, it was different now. Haha. My basketball mates are like brothers to me now. Ok, where was I? Oh, so that is why I was always afraid to mix up with new friends who play basketball too. Either I was unconfident of my skill, Or if I mix with the wrong type of people, misunderstanding can happen and when a fight ensues, I'll be without any help. Haha. So half of the court was used by these teenagers. The other half, was used by smaller kids to play soccer. == Luckily one of the older ones from them said I could play here. So I did. Carefully avoiding the ball they kicked and shooting the ball so as not to knock them down. It was not very enjoyable. Not until it was about 6pm here. At that time, they already stormed off at the same time. So one half of the court was mine to use, FULLY. haha. That was when my basketball mode officially got turned on. Played for another one-hour. And surprisingly, I wasn't as tired as when I last played. The previous session, one hour and there goes my limit. I even played with lesser water this time. Although after I took a shower at home, I really felt restless. Haha. Does this mean I'm regaining my stamina, or does this mean I'm gaining better control of my mentality?? Can it be both? Haha. Wednesday, 16 December 2009
9 days to Christmas!!! As usual, all I can wait now at this period of time is Christmas!!!!! I love that feeling of serenity and joy. I don't really know how. I just have that kind of feeling annually on Christmas xD I don't look forward to New Year though. Because it means another year is gonna start real soon. And for me, next year = hard labour. So many warnings I've got from my relatives about going to JC. "Hard labour" "If you can't stand it, you'll crumble under the pressure." "Why spend your precious teenage life with hard labour, man????" Well, those were some feedback about JC I've heard from some of my relatives. I'll see it for myself next year, And prove whether they're right, or wrong. xD Anywaysssssssss Holiday's been SLACKING. I've not even been touching my basketball regularly anymore. Seems like it'll be a miracle if I can get into a basketball team in JC next year. *sigh* So, any good Christmas songs to download? *asking myself, since probably nobody anticipates Christmas as much as I do* Friday, 11 December 2009
3 weeks of holiday; Just like that?! Hello, fellow virtual residents. It's been 3 weeks of holiday. And when some people are working part-time to earn some extra cash, And some people brush up their particular skills, Here I am, slacking around, doing nothing much except what a basic homosapien would; Eat, Sleep, Play. Wanna spend more time with basketball but turns out that the court nearby my house isn't only for basketball. It's used for different sports everyday. Basketball is only once, or is it twice, a week. So at most all I can do was dribbling around my house, creating noises which probably disturb neighbours during their afternoon nap =P *profanities from next door* Exercising is never a regular for me too. I can imagine myself losing my athleticism [do I have one????] next year with all these stuff I am eating deposited everywhere on my body. Not like I can't help it right. There're just so many stuff here I can't eat in Singapore, so after a year without all these, I think it's only natural for my body to crave for them so suddenly. *HAHA. Excuse!* Anywho, no matter how is your holiday like, I hope you've been spending them wisely. Before we know it, the results of O-Level is released, and there begins my hard labour again. Can time during this period just stop? xD *cross fingers* Thursday, 3 December 2009
Coward > gentleman [in me] "Life's simple. You make choices and you don't look back." Han Lue. "Outsider or insider don't really matter anymore. What matters is knowing what you want, and going after it." Sean Boswell. I just watched The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift again. And I must say, even after watching it a few times before, it's still awesome. Only this time I watched in Indonesian television channel, and I got to understand words that I missed out before. Like those two quotes. Suddenly, I could hear every word of it, unlike last time. Again, I think this is the advantage of having a Nothing-To-Do Holiday. You get to reflect on yourself and things around you more frequently. People have their own way of life, and a true gentleman cleans up the mess he made. As for me, I realised that I've never done that before. Running away is what I do best, and cowards around the world will gladly vote me as their leader. When I got into some trouble I would often try not to think about it, and even after it gets worse, all I could do was ask for help from others, which eventually making it a burden for them. When I make my choices, sometimes I didn't think of all the possibilities. When my choice becomes a mess, only then I realised that I've taken the wrong steps. And yes, people around me get their share of the shit I've spilled too. Is there any way of making oneself less cowardly and increasing the I-am-not-afraid-to-die-even-in-the-most-dire-and-troubled-situations spirit? Another thing is that I always get laid-back too often in my journey. I know what I want to do in the future, I know what it takes to reach there, Yet I sometimes take my own time in the pursuit of it, thinking that I'll reach there somehow. One part of me is super motivated. He possesses a never-say-die spirit in the pursuit of my dreams. He never gets tired, he never stops. And sometimes he dominates me. On the other hand, There's the opposite side of me. He's laid-back, lazy. Prefers to slow down. Thinking "Why should I bother to stress myself? It'll work out somehow. There's no need for dreams." He dominates me most of the time. That's why I said I was torn apart by my positive and negative mindsets. I still need to learn to use each in suitable situations. If I follow the Motivated side often, my body'll give way and just refuse to work due to the extreme exhaustion. If I follow the Slowdown side often, I will never know, and reach what I want. This doesn't only apply in the pursuit of my dreams only. In a certain situation which I feel there's no need to mention here, I kept saying I was satisfied with the situation I am currently in. I don't ever wanna talk about my so-called rival to the other person involved, for fear I might get internal-explosion-of-emotion inside and would end up punching the walls again. But as one of my bro said: "Know your enemy to be able to beat him." And here I am, not daring to ask about it. Although I know the rival is still there, And though this thing will not get better. I'm afraid of the pain. Oh what a gentleman. *spit on the ground* Thank God anyway for today. I now know how cowardly I am. Now it's just left on how to make things better. |