It's that time of holiday again. 

Engulfing myself in my blanket the night before and the morning itself.

Dragging my feet across the virtually clean floor.

Having breakfast with my parents on the same table.

Saying goodbye to them at the airport, and watching them leave when I go in.

Sighing at the delayed flight inside the boarding lounge.

Landing on Changi, and heading back to my hostel room.

Reminiscing of a fruitful break during the holiday, and dreading the start of school.

Spending the first night away from home with pangs of homesickness.
It's my last day home.

I've been through this, more than I have ever counted myself.

Everything is familiar, yet difficult to face as always.

This time too, it seems way harder to leave home.

What with the fact that this might be my last long holiday ever.

There will no longer be a time when I can spend literally one full month at home doing whatever I want, not at least until the furthest time in the future I can possibly estimate.

Not when this is my last year in university.

Not when I have to work after I graduate.

Not when I finally have to start growing up, and taking charge of responsibilities thrust in my way.

I detest leaving home. I still do. Every time it happens.

I will get used to it, sooner than I always believe, but I still do.

Ironically, as I turn older each year, and as I spend longer time away from home, I actually get more attached to home, and my family.

Might be due to the fact that I realise the value of them in my life. More so as I grow.

Might be due to the fact that there is always a possibility of me being permanently away from home as I head out into the workforce, with uncertain amount and number of holidays each year.

Or it might just be my own insecurities, which seems to be strangely getting stronger as I mature into adulthood.
Or it might just be the fact that I'm now living in a pure-hostel configuration, after living in apartments for all the time I've ever been overseas.
I believe it was my inner hygiene freak that treats the sharing of common facilities (especially toilets and shower cubicles) with so many people that I'm not familiar with. And with different hygiene standards too.

I believe I have a pretty high tolerance for the cleanliness level for common facilities.
But that tolerance level can only include limited number of people.
And with people I at least feel quite familiar with.



All right, enough with the ranting.
I will just suck things up for now, and bear it for another 8 more months until I at least graduate.
(Unless I decide to stay somewhere else afterwards, which is quite unlikely).
Despite my pessimistic rant, I would like to always believe that I will hold on to this entity called Hope.
I think Hope is very powerful.
And that power is probably just what I need, in a year that will be so crazy and uncertain ahead.


Peace out.

And so, we say good bye to 2014.


2014 has officially been the fastest year ever for me.
It feels like every day just breezed through, whether it be during school semesters or holidays.
Seems a little unlike me to say this, but I think it was a great year nonetheless and I wouldn't mind repeating the year all over again.

Why do I say so?

Because to me 2014, other than being super eventful, has imparted me with lessons I would carry with me to the years ahead.



Perhaps out of so many, these are the few stuff that I consider important lessons that I managed to grab from the year.


Time Management
Time is always of the essence practically all the time in school. During my spring semester, I think my time management was in such a sorry state because I had always overestimated my ability to tell time. After the summer break, I think I managed my time much better during my fall semester, thankfully. This is, however, still just a start.

Optimism
YES! After so many years of futile attempts, I am quite proud for my spirit of optimism this year. I seriously still couldn't quite believe how I picked myself up again and again after everything I considered "obstacles" grilled me along the year. I do hope to continue honing this kind of attitude further in 2015 and beyond, of course.

Learn to love what you have, before you can have what you love.
It's funny even just saying this, but as much as I feel that I (still) can't do well in this architecture course which gives me countless sleepless nights and reinforces my nature to curse and swear under high pressure during the submission periods, I want to learn to understand this course (and maybe the profession too). I'm gonna do this on a daily basis anyway (at least for the last 8 months of my studies in SUTD if I don't take the same course in Post-Grad), so why not learn to love it, right?

Treasure the people dearest to you
2014 was indeed the year when I witnessed as many blissful occasions (like marriages, coming-of-age celebrations) as sorrowful ones (deaths). If they taught me anything, is to of course identify people you most value in your life and show them that you keep them in your thoughts (and/or prayers) regularly, at the very least.



Of course, this reflection wouldn't be complete without listing out some targets to achieve in 2015. I do have a few specific things in mind like:
-Exploring the area around the new SUTD Campus
-Exercise more regularly *looks at waistline*
-Grow in Faith!

But mostly, I just wish I can apply what I've already written above in every better way possible!

Talking about something to achieve, I remember an observation I made recently.
I observed that nearly everybody around me has been equipping themselves with relevant skills as well as undergoing self-improvement in one way or another.
People who I've studied with back in my hometown especially, since most of them have graduated from university (because when I moved to Singapore for my studies I had to repeat one year).
I was pleasantly surprised to hear that many of my degree-holder peers have found a stable job or started their own ventures as entrepreneurs.
At the same time, this made me examine myself, in terms of what I have, what I have been doing, and what I am going to contribute to the society (or at least the people around me and myself) once I'm out of SUTD.

At my current state, it seems that I have nothing to contribute, or at least nothing much or significant enough.
Especially when I still haven't figured out where my passions lie.
Still, that doesn't mean I should wait until I know what I want!

I have 8 more months to equip myself with something useful at least before I'm deemed to be ready to contribute something by the time I go out of here.
I've gotta seek out my own self-improvement. Relying on SUTD alone will not be enough especially if my studies itself really need further boost on its own.
I guess I do have to push myself on my own in this area of self-improvement.
Not just improving at my own pace which sometimes can be snail-paced and even intangible, but also in ways that are recognisable and useful.
Which means skills that are certified or can be certified, professionally and are useful when I am diving into the workforce the next time.

At the very, very least I should make an effort for it.
I'm sure in due time, I will see some results. Heh.




With all that, I feel pretty much excited for 2015, which I'm rather sure is gonna be a crazy year ahead because I started it off blasted by a shockwave from a failed fireworks 2m in front of me and a complimentary hit-on by a local tranny.


Here's to a wacky 2015! *clinks wine glass*



'till next time

20:54
Up, up, and away!