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OhLaila
Tuesday 31 August 2010
Teachers' Day 2010. Man, this post is gonna be long.

I feel emotional even as I am typing this very post.



Met up with Mars, Liaowei, and then San and Yichao to go back to FTP together.

Yongyi met us later in school.

Then met up with more of ex-schoolmates in there.And then of course, teachers.

Archie and Zhongyi met us later though.


Okay I probably have said this.
In fact, many times.
But heck, I'm still gonna say it anyway.


I miss FTPSS.
Yes, from friends,
To the times,
To the canteen,
To teachers,
To my homeroom at A2-02, Ms. Kaur's room, where I used to lie on the sofa during lessons or even throw dusty Buttercup pillow to one another.
To the food in the canteen.
To the auntie at the drink stall.
To the Basketball court. Oh my, good times when we slacked everyday after school churning our heart out through basketball until evening.
To the bustop nearby,
To the elevators, where we used to sneakily take to move between floors,
To the school hall, where we sometimes messed around at.
To 4E1 '09,
To all the teachers who have taught me, yes again,
Okay, I gotta admit, even to the toilet.



No matter how many times I come back, it still feels like a second home to me.
Not that NJ sucks though.
I just feel more attached to FTPSS.
A lot more.



And when I unleashed everything at the basketball court,
The feeling was awesome.
I even spent my shoes' last moments in there. Now I gotta go get another basketball shoes.
It was a perfect ending for my Air Jordan.
I left my detached sole under the tree at the side of the court. Haha.
I'm awesomely tired.


The feeling when we met up with teachers was much nostalgic.
Made me remember how I used to be such a mischief in school.
But I guess I still managed to make them proud, more or less.
Hopefully I can still do so.


Hmm went to hang out with Yichao and Zhongyi at Novena afterwards.
Slacked around, talked about things, and bitched about life. Haha.



Suddenly posting this entry made me remember how was Teachers' Day two years ago and one year ago.

Two years ago, 3E1 '08 was fooling around in Ms. Kaur classroom, our homeroom.



But that was when a bond, like no other, formed.




And then, one year later, it was no different, if not better.
Hmm we no longer camwhored and fooled around in class, but those moments were simply uncaptured in picture forms. Rather, it was engraved inside our hearts.











What can I say? I love FTPSS and yes, 3E1 '08/4E1 '09
And I thank you, just for being a simply wonderful memory to me.


Monday 30 August 2010

Hmm tomorrow,


I shall keep myself cool.




Until FTPSS Basketball Court is within my sight.




xD


Saturday 28 August 2010

Giant Yankee Burger was sicko =='


And I touched basketball a bit today.
Not training, but leisurely.
And strangely I had more fun than when I train.
It's able to make me better, but why do I lack the motivation?






And for the subsequent times, I need to sort out the random sparks in my head.


Saturday 21 August 2010

There are motivated people, and the laid-back ones.
And again, I found myself sitting on the fence.


It's never good I know.
I move between two sides on various times.
And still I do not know which one is the right one for me.



On one time, I know what I wanna do, what I wanna get, how to get there, how to start.
I know with enough perseverance, it will happen.

But on other times,
I got myself into my own contemplation.
Whether this is what I really want out of my life.
Whether this is my purpose.
Whether I've put my deterrence for the correct purpose.
Whether I'm not wasting my time.
And whether moving towards what I want out of my life right now is the right thing to do.






Why would I wanna push myself so hard in life?
Is what I'm gonna get worth it?

But

Why would I wanna live a life where I'm lost at what to do?
Why don't squeeze the shit our of my life, get the most of it?


But


Is squeezing all the juice means having the best out of life?
Is what I'm doing now making the most out of it?
Are you sure it will be worth it in the end?


But


Making the most out of life means not wasting any moment.
Strive in everything I do.
If I give it my all, surely it'll be worth in the end.





...
And the cycle repeats.



Yea, those are just some of the random, continuous arguments raging on in my mind.
When will these endless loops end?


Wednesday 18 August 2010
There's always something to learn from.

No matter what happens to you, you can always gain something from it, really.



Today, I learnt that being a sore loser is disgusting. When you do something, admit it. Wrong or not, accidental or not, it's always better if you admit it. Doing it so obviously, yet obviously denying it, that just was so ungentlemanly. Loser. Even after you brought me down, I could see it from the corner of my eyes. Yes, your freaking guiltless face. But oh well, I have no alibi against you. You almost knocked me unconscious after all. You backstabbed me. Even the others who didn't have anything against me decided to help. I felt so bad for him covering up for you. Yes, in the end we all know, you are the loser. Yes, you.



Another thing.
Winning by cheating sucks to the max. Not only your team got advantages by breaking the rules, even the in-game rules were made for your benefits as well. That's just so cowardly. All along I feel so honoured, but now I feel disgusted being in the same league as you. How could I ever feel proud for being equal as unhonourable people like you guys. Seriously, it disappointed me. The shamefulness I had inside is way bigger than the knock and bleeding on my head. That attitude is just gross.




Well whatever.
I shall bathe, and mug for Physics SPA tomorrow.
Not forgetting, thank God the cut wasn't at my eye. It was close, but not there. Thank God.


Drowning.

I'm totally up to my neck with my work.
And that's not meant to be figurative.



But for someone wearing his heart on the sleeve since birth,

This is probably the only suitable - don't know if it's healthy though - getaway from all the chaotic emotions inside.



Within 24 hours, the weather forecast might have been fixed, but some storms just continue wrecking havoc.




End of random post.
I shall continue my work again.


Sunday 15 August 2010
First Toa Payoh, First memories of Singapore that's engraved in me.

Went for the gathering of 4Es in Seoul Garden Bugis last evening.

Ms. Ang organised it, and although not all of 4Es came, we had quite a fun.



It was definitely more than enjoyable reminiscing all the good old days, and talking out about how our lives are currently progressing.



The way we met,
The way we fooled around in classes,
The way we talked back to teachers sometimes, haha,
The way we copied one another's homework,
The way we spent time after school in basketball court,
The way we teased one another,
The way we called ourselves with names,
The way we created a bond,
The way we imprinted memories in ourselves.




All of a sudden, I miss my first 4 years in Singapore, with First Toa Payoh peeps.


Wednesday 11 August 2010

I hate last minute notice, it sours my mood.

Especially if it involves taking away my rightful sleep.


Monday 9 August 2010
A moment in time.

Amidst the break of my work, suddenly I feel like coming back here to write type something.



It's a 4-day holiday during Singapore's National Day period.



For Singaporeans, this is a period to celebrate. But to me, it probably will be just another long weekend when I can finally take a little breather for myself.


Before I even realised, it's two days to school.


Lots of homework, lots to study.


2 days are already burnt for basketball training.
I don't know what happened to me.
During training yesterday, after a few continuous sprints, I felt dizzy,vomited twice, and collapsed to the ground. I actually got closer to fainting.
After a while, I really drifted off. Maybe I did faint after all. When I woke up, I didn't feel less exhausted.
I rested for the rest of the training.
And today, my whole legs turned jelly-like.
I need to get used to this pace faster, or December training could turn out like hell.


Homework is just piling up and I can't seem to have time to catch up. The blame's probably on me since I didn't make use of this long weekend to do so, but I desperately yearn for quality time for myself.


To just stop in a moment in time, to just pause, to reflect on things I've done, what I should have and shouldn't have done, to contemplate on what I must keep doing, to just ponder about basically all sorts things that's been going through.



I must get promoted. I must keep up with the basketball training. I must get more committed in PA. The biggest challenge is, to keep my own sanity and to keep my inner flame burning.
Yes, the Bankai mode. Haha.








I'm still on the edge of the cliff. I don't know if I should move on. I wanna plunge into a new beginning and yet my head turns behind occasionally just to look back on what has happened. All of a sudden the images about those moments are forcing themselves into my head again. Yes, those moments in time about me and you. They're supposed to be long gone, I know.



Sometimes I just wonder whether I really have moved on. Time and again I know I have. But sometimes even I doubt the truth of my own perceptions.


Friday 6 August 2010

I don't wanna fall into another infinitely deep abyss.



I've just managed to barely scrap through in getting myself back up to the outside.




And again, I'm now on the edge of another one.



Either I take this chance, which is likely to bear fruit, and be trapped in another dimension for another time,



Or I choose to be safe.




I've always been taking the risks in life, without worry, and I always triumph over them.




But the mere thoughts of this, can shudder me from head to toe.




Yet, if I ever manage to get the end of the maze, there lies the only thing I've ever searched for in life.




Why is it so difficult to take this risk for once again?