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OhLaila |
Thursday 18 February 2010
This exhaustion is yet to be the worst. I'm totally beat. Physically and mentally. Both. Physically, I can't get more than my normal 8 hours sleep. Either because I can't sleep early, or I can only get sleepy around 12am. And basketball trainings in the morning today is the one that I needed energy on. == Anyway, yes, today was the basketball trial. 8 people turned up including me. It was half-hopeful, yet half-hopeless for me. Hopeful because I could keep up with the other J1s who turned up. Hopeless because since everybody had about the same skill as me, or possibly more, I might not make it into the team. Haiz... I need another round of luck.... My mentality is also about at its limit. Brain-wise, Maths and Physics are quite hard to cope at times. I wonder how am I even gonna get a high score for myself. Chemistry isn't easy as it used to be as well. Why would I even think of taking H3 next year == Emotional-wise. I'm sick of getting high for a moment and feeling like shit for the next few hours. I'm sick of not being able to move on. I'm sick of my own wishful thinkings. I'm sick of my own feelings. But again, Grunting and complaining about it ain't gonna make me feel better. I can only motivate myself, to stand up again, to not give up, to keep myself hopeful, to convince my mind that this is not yet the end point. Staying strong isn't an option. It's a duty. Saturday 13 February 2010
You won't know what you've got 'till it's gone. As the saying goes. Yes, it's about FTPSS. Haha. I went back today from NJC to celebrate CNY Concert in FTP. It was a great feeling. Met with some teachers who had been my guide to what I am now, And certainly the friends who had filled my first 4 years in Singapore with colours. Deep in my heart, I realised I'm still attached to this school. It will never be forgotten. But this is life. And I've got to move on. It's not like I have a choice. No matter how stressful it may be in my near future, it's a path I've chosen and gotta take. No matter how relaxing it seemed during secondary school, it was the past and it's my fault to take it for granted. No use mourning over my fate now. Well, there're still people whom I can keep in touch to. Nothing to worry about, right? xD 4 years in First Toa Payoh Secondary School, A milestone of my life that will never be gone from my memory database. Monday 8 February 2010
Another pessimism attacks. College work has officially begun. Today was the first day I got an amount of homework. Not much, but enough to worry me if this amount would increase dramatically. Economics lecture was much better though. I could understand what the lecturer was saying today. Maybe because I read the notes before-handedly. Or maybe because I was paying more attention. I don't know. As long as I know xD Basketball trial was postponed, and I have no idea when it is actually held. My pessimism arises again, Would they throw me out of trial? Or is the captain tired of informing me because I never reply the text? It may just be an over-estimation on my part. But it may be true. I can't stop thinking what if I couldn't get into the team; how wasted it would be; how foolish I am for not signing up for another backup CCA [other than PA, of course]. Nevermind, I shall just try. Like she said "Do your best, and don't regret." She thought that she failed the dance audition today. Well, I told her she might make it, but looks like she was more than pessimistic. But the good thing is, she didn't regret it. That makes me feel better xD Okay, tomorrow is my first test. General Paper diagnostic test. I think it's a kind of a test whereby they will test our English abilities in writing. I was given a note about common linguistic errors, and it's appalling that some of the things I thought were correct are actually WRONG. What the hell. If like this I screw up ah. Nevermind.... Shall not think so much.... CNY is coming. Don't know still got time to go to FTPSS to join their celebration or not. Haha. I hope can come though. Right, shall go back to mugging my note about COMMON LINGUISTIC ERROR. Hahahaha. I feel so weird for being a mugger == Friday 5 February 2010
FUN. Today our OG went out again. Well as usual, not everbody turned up. Had lunch at Golden Rooster at Coronation Plaza, which is a few metres down the road along NJC. I skipped lunch though. The 'cai fan' at school had my stomach fully-filled the whole afternoon. Haha. The OG is more bonded. That's the main thing. xD Afterwards, Wen Yi, one of the OGLs, offered us to visit his house. A condo called Maplewoods *woots* It was quite fun actually. Wenyi showed us his card trick. [Learnt from Internet] And the boys tried to do one-hand Push Up. I did two and my leg got cramped. == Watched South Park which has some profanities around and some other funny videos on Youtube. Enjoying our "no life" life for now before the real JC starts. == Anyway lectures were equal to SLEEP. During GP lecture I fell asleep for countless times. And I wasn't the only one. So not my fault right? Haha. Basketball tryout was postponed. I think it was due to the rain today. At first I thought this might prolong my nervousness, But I think I wasn't that nervous anymore. Just do it lah =.=' Okay, off to do some Chemistry homework. *my first homework after 3 months!* Thursday 4 February 2010
IT'S TOMORROW. I just received an sms, from NJC Basketball captain. Trial is tomorrow, 4pm. WILL I BE ABLE TO SURVIVE?!?!?!? =.= Wednesday 3 February 2010
NJC Orientation 2010 - Concluded. Today marked the end of my orientation period in NJC. And I must say that I'm thankful for that. From being a loner [since I don't have fellow schoolmates posted there] To someone who finally has found a few friends and of course, the sense of acceptance in a place he once thought an alien planet to him. And, OG 15 AND YOU OGLs, YOU ARE AWESOME! Although I didn't talk much to a few fellow OG members, Their presence itself and they did not shun me away from the group are already good. Haha. So, I chose Basketball CCA and PA [those taking charge of lighting and sound during an event] For basketball, I hope I can keep up. And hopefully can get into the team, even as a bench player. Because the members are very muscular and definitely taller than me With the exception of the captain though, which is about my height. Which implies that his skill must be SUPER PRO lah == So you see how hard it is to get into the team. And with 4 training schedules a week, it's questionable whether I can balance with my studies. Hopefully I can. ... Anyway, so I'm temporarily posted to PCME subject combi. I dunno what was wrong with the system. In the morning I saw my subject combi was BCME [Biology instead of Physics] instead of my first choice PCME. == It changed after I talked to the subject combi teacher == So.... It means college life starts officially tomorrow for me. Although the subject combi. isn't confirmed yet and the timetable consists of lecture and not tutorials yet, I have been given notes about the first two chapters of H2 Economics. All the words there seem so foreign to me. Too much things to worry about now. Basketball.. New college life.. And this long-distance thingy == Tuesday 2 February 2010
Basketball never felt so pressurising. Again, played basketball today with my housemates after so long. I was brought to a little-known basketball 'cage' in Velocity, Novena. Haha, a small but satisfying enough place to play basketball. And I am SO tired. Hopefully my legs can tahan during CCA Carnival tomorrow. I'd like to try the Basketball in NJC. One of the OGLs said that there are only 8 guys currently in NJC Basketball. Which means I have a pretty good chance to make it into the team. But again, Surely there are A HELL LOT of people who want to join this pleasurable sport. And then, I'll be a mere MEMBER. Or, I'll get posted into Team B. [that is IF, and only IF they have Team B] And there is the hardcore timetable for this CCA. Although I am sure I won't get stressed up, since this is the only sport I enjoy doing, A LOT. Well, I hope I won't. Argh.... Will I make it into the NJC Basketball team??????? Because I haven't thought of my second option =.=' I can't find a sport I thought will be quite enjoyable for me. And for clubs and societies, I'm sure I don't wanna screw my own brain even more with the activities there, which involves almost zero physical activities and almost a lot of mental activities. I'd like to rest my brain, thank you. I'd rather get tired physically in the CCA. ARGH WILL I GET IN? |