And so, with so much honour, my old companion Aspire 4920G has officially retired from duty.
Thanks so much for being such a loyal company all these 5 years, and for withstanding my impatience at times.
It'll be hard for the fresh GE60 to match up of what you've done for me. HAHA.

So, I officially am blogging from a new platform yet again.

About time to upgrade my system too, I guess.


Been thinking about a few things lately, and some say that when you have this burning urge to say or express something, you shouldn't wait because by then your idea will disappear slowly into thin air. It was a quote by a GP lecturer in NJ if I wasn't mistaken.


And these few days, I've been wondering why some people just have it all. You know, they can excel in virtually everything that you can see them doing. Academically, physically, financially, spiritually, artistically.
Not like I'm ungrateful or anything, but it's just that whenever I try hard to do something, I almost always got stuck and basically... suck at it.
Yeah, there is always somebody else out there who's better than you. Doesn't mean I don't have to try so hardcore at everything.

BUT then,
It occurred to me.
I have ENOUGH. And maybe, just maybe, I've never tried hard enough in everything.
Maybe those people that I just mentioned above, they deserve everything that they have!
They put in enough effort, and basically Karma works in their favour and reward them.

Maybe I finally realise that I am such a pussy for being determined.
Maybe I finally know that I don't even deserve anything that I do or have right now.
Maybe I finally understand that by trying hard, it literally means trying it until you have no strength left to go on.


BUT then,
Somebody else will be better than me in trying hard.
Kinda defeats the purpose in trying hard myself, doesn't it?

As confusing as it may sound,
I probably need to have the taste of having not even a single ounce of strength left to continue. Then I will get enlightened.




Secondly,
I recently came across this quote (I forgot the exact words) which goes something like this:

"Live today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow."


And as I was contemplating on my bed [insomnia attacking] about my dream to become a doctor,
I suddenly realise that it was all YESTERDAY.
It WAS my dream.
Whether I want it in my present now, it is up to me.
Whether I choose to loathe where I am now, it is up to me.
Whether I still wanna daydream of being a doctor instead of focusing on where I am now, it is up to me.



It is all up to me.
My brain says it's okay to follow both path. It has no violent objections on either sides.
So it is left only to what my heart says.
And tonight, I realise,
My heart wants to live in the present.
Choosing to focus on my current state, and situation.
For my unforgettable yesterdays, for my own good, and for the better tomorrows.

03:22
Up, up, and away!