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OhLaila |
Saturday, 19 March 2011
The conflicts of I was wondering about the extent of my potential. It's like, I've been wanting to be that for I can't remember how long. But then, if we're talking about the limit of my ability based on my DNA, I probably can't make it. I hail from parents who naturally excel in Physics, Mathematics, and Economics. Maybe that's how I'm able to stay alive in those subjects even though I don't really love them. But okay, I admit, I'm slowly developing interest in Economics. And I probably inherit my Dad's passion in Science, not my Mom's meticulous accounting ability. But I definitely do not get his outgoing nature and adaptability skills. So how am I gonna make it towards my dream, when my dream itself involves the best of the best, and even those gifted with the inborn skill for it? BUT If I view it from a destiny point of view, where the future can bring forth anything with limitless possibilities, I can achieve anything I want with the sheer desire for it. With the right approaches and unending determination, I'm sure I'll get there somehow, no matter how scathed I would be. And THIS has been what I want since my childhood days. And I've been working to get there. It's just a while more, and I'll be able to see whether I'll make it. BUT My spiritual energy has been deteriorating. My desire has been shaken. My faith has been questioned. "Is this really what I want?" "Do I really think I have what it takes?" "How sure am I if I'm up for it?" "How would you compete with those people better than you; A HELL LOT BETTER THAN WHAT YOU ARE!" were among the puzzles popping up constantly on my mind. Coupled with the genetic arguments I posted earlier which I believe is my own reality, It just adds more complications into my already-screwed-up doubts. BUT [the last one, I promise] Halfway through typing this post, something just struck me inside my mind harder than a thunder striking the sky in a storm. Human beings are capable of undergoing EVOLUTION. I've yet to lose my grasp on that fading glimpse of hope. |