Everything still feels so surreal and my mind and emotions are in such a messed-up state I don't know where to begin with.


To start it off, I probably should state that this is the end of my first year in SUTD.
I made the decision to enter this place by a very-last minute decision and actually strayed away from my initial ambition, which I realised might not be what I wanted.
And I have not regretted that decision since.


Maybe this 'high' feeling is a leftover of what's left after being in an orientation as a non-orientee for the the first time.
Being an OGL actually has its own rewarding sensation too, although the exhaustion was beyond what I have experienced before. Haha.



But that aside, especially to the group of friends I made in a span of one year.
During this 4-months break, so many of us will be separated.
Some going for internships, some going for holidays, some for MIT exchange, and the closest group of friends of mine are going for ZJU exchange, well most of them.
I'm certainly gonna miss having them around, especially after getting used to them for the past year, whether it be in Cyclops OG, 12F07, Livfesync, and others around the school that I met.
Of course we can still keep in touch, but that doesn't really work as much as a real meeting. Ever.


The real reason I probably didn't want to send people off at the airport today is because I was afraid that my emotional side will swell up and surface.
I probably didn't wanna look sad that the separations have to happen.
I probably still can't accept the fact that when most people are having exchanges with friends or going back home to meet their families, I am not able to do either of them.
I'm stuck in here doing a so-called internship.


Let me tell you why it is a "so-called".
Apparently the only internship programme that accepted amongst all 4 that I applied to was the school's internship.
And it is a special programme that someone from Singapore Institute of Architects voluntarily initiated for SUTD.
So there will be no renumeration.
I was having doubts, but my parents advised me to go ahead anyway.
Now, I'm actually starting to feel that I should just go on a holiday back home for 4 months, spending time with my family and actually doing other things totally unrelated to... school.


But well, maybe this is just me feeling that "the grass is greener on the other side".
Maybe there is a bigger picture planned out for me.
After all, as Swedish House Mafia put it into their song:
"Don't you worry, don't you worry child, see Heaven's got a plan for you."



That aside, to all my SUTD friends, if you're reading this, you know who you are,
If you're going for MIT exchange: have fun in Boston! It's not as safe as Singapore, so stay safe!
If you're going for ZJU exchange: watch what you eat especially, and have fun in the land of bamboo! Your health is still the most important, no matter what you do.
If you're going for internships (like I am): suck it up and just try to enjoy whatever comes out of it. I'm sure there is plenty to learn from. Heh.
If you're having 4 month holidays: GOOD FOR YOU!! XD


Ciao.

12:46
Up, up, and away!