"You don't change that because people don't change."

- Dr. House

House M.D. - Season 4 Episode 11

I have heard this famous quote by Dr. House time and again when I was still watching the series before it ended.
Recently, it made me wonder again, especially when I pondered about the results that got for one of those personality tests.

You know the test in which the results give you four letters that represent your personality somehow?

I'm gonna talk the first letter of the result, which can only either be "E" for Extroversion or "I" for Introversion.

5 years ago, I would be pretty confident calling myself an Extroverted guy.

And as always, for every random time I took the tests, I would always get an "E".

For now, though, it's a different story.

I started getting "I", and to add more to the confusion, the results would sway back and forth between the two letters.

So what does this mean? Have I changed? Or do I keep changing?

At first I thought yeah, you know maybe the mood in which I take the tests differ each time and so depending on the mood I was in, the results can vary.

Sometimes, though, I felt that maybe I started to develop my own introversion over the years as I grow up a little more.

I still remember the time back in 2009, that if I had to stay home all day in my room just with my computer on a Saturday, I would get rather bored and annoyed.

Now? I'll choose being cooped up in my room any day. In fact that was how I spent my Saturday earlier (and for the last few Saturdays when I had no group project meetings).

So does this show an introverted side that surfaced from within?

A few hours ago, after recalling the quote from Dr. House earlier, I came to another conclusion. 

That I probably didn't change. My own introverted side did not just came out of nowhere or develop over the years.

Looking back many years back, even when I was still studying in primary school, I made friends pretty easily. More than many of my peers, in fact.

I liked to be myself, BUT I believed that I had always looked up to those "cool kids" that were really the rule-breakers of the school and had such high popularity amongst everybody, including the teachers.

And I think I really wanted to be one of those, so I started to conform to the standards of such people, and let go of my own solitude.

Which is good in a way, because it made me learn a lot about you should handle some people.

Albeit not without emotional and physical pain here and there..

And so because of that, I think I kinda turned out an extroverted kid from then on.

As I grew out of my teenage years, however,

I do realise that being yourself, and knowing what you like and don't like, is the most important.

It doesn't matter what others think of you anymore. As long as what you do does not harm others in any way, I don't think people are gonna harm you back. Most of the time.

So for now, as much as I like being around great bunch of people,

I do need quite a substantial amount of time being on my own, recuperating.

Turns out, I have not changed my extroversion and introversion level. I have always been mostly introverted, though I can show the traits of an extrovert. 

It just reflects differently in each of the time I take that particular personality traits test.

I guess for now, my introvert side has had more or less sufficient recuperation.

I think I'm ready to face people tomorrow again.

I have to anyway.

Ciao!