Or so I thought, usually.

I don't know if what I feel here is still real or simply the remnants from the past.

Yeah what I experienced 5-6 years ago was nothing short of pure emotional bliss, that comes with the excruciating pain when it had to be ended of course.

It was, if not still is, my biggest love.

I wouldn't say getting over it is easy. It was nothing like that.

I never imagined getting over this one.

Until I thought I did!

I met new people and made new memories, both as friends and beyond.

Until the scars tore apart again yesterday, or so it seemed.
I felt it all again after I finished meeting up with my group of best buddies from FTPSS.

I do meet up with these treasured people once in a while.

Though not once had it triggered the past events as much as it did this time.

Somehow, this time the meet-up it became the causal factor in reminding me of you.

There was no further need to say what followed after that when I went home.

I was filled to the brim with melancholy, unable to do anything productive as much as I want to.
I spent the rest of the evenings, and the next day re-visiting the past (as well as realising that I've lost some of the important archives).

Then came the pangs of regrets, and the heartbreaks once again.

I mean, how do I explain all of these then, if what I felt was just imaginary?

How do the scars manage to open up again?

How do these scars still exist?

How did the meet-up this time trigger all these chains of emotional events?

How do I know I am missing what we had, the person you once were, the deep and profound connections I have with someone on that level, or the person you are now?

Why do I still hope?

Why do I hold on so much to it?

Why is it still so important to me now?

More importantly,

What do I do now?

Do I fight this feeling?

Do I just let it be, or do I suppress it?

Goodnight, bloggie.

I'm out.

how are you doing now?